Hough Counseling and Assessments PLLC

Change is a necessary part of growth.  Life is about experiences and making meaning out of all we encounter. As the season changes from summer to fall we reflect upon the warm memories of summer and wait with great anticipation for what fall will bring. Change can create a certain amount of anxiety. The fear of the unknown can serve as a distraction from the excitement of a new adventure. As we begin a new season, I am encouraged to embrace change with anticipation and excitement. Take the leap of faith and enjoy the journey. It is fine to be nervous about change. Move forward beyond the anxiety and embrace the reward of the journey.

Author,

Alicia Lurry MA LPC

The saying that patience is a virtue was always odd to me in my younger years. Really, what’s virtuous about waiting for the thing that you are convinced is yours. Whether it is a new job, a relationship change, a transition of any kind, waiting can feel like the worst torture. But what if the virtue is not the delay but the virtue is in the process of waiting. In that process we develop determination, faith, and hope. In that process we slow down and appreciate our present instead of only worrying about the future. What if the virtue is in preparation for the new thing at the appointed time? I have learned that learning to be patient is the key to peace. The future is going to happen anyway. Worrying about it will not change anything. Worrying just robs us of our present peace.  Let’s start to embrace the gift of waiting and recognize the change that we are experiencing in the process.

Author,

Alicia Lurry LPC

As I was out gardening last weekend. I came across a large plant in my backyard flower bed. I had neglected this area for some time because I had been so busy. I began pulling the weeds and digging the soil in preparation for planting and mulch. My eye would continually go to this odd-looking plant. It was growing around the other plants but stood pretty tall as if it was meant to be there.  It just seemed as if it didn’t belong, although it grew with the other plants that I had previously planted. I did not remember planting this one. I called my neighbor who is an expert in gardening. She has a very good eye and her garden always flourishes. She immediately looked at the large imposter in my garden and said, “That’s a weed, dig it up.” I thought to myself as I was digging this tall intruder out of my garden that there is so much symbolism between our minds, the garden, the weed and negative thoughts.

Like that weed, some thoughts and beliefs appear to be normal as if they belong. We hear them often in our own voice or the voice of someone in our lives. But those thoughts and beliefs do not belong. They have to be identified, sometimes with the assistance of an outside observer. Once identified they need to be dug up by the root and replaced with true flowering belief that can grow and provide nourishment and beauty.

Be aware of what grows in the garden of your mind.

Author,

Alicia Lurry LPC

Life has many ups and downs. Often, the difficult moments can eclipse our perspective and prevent us from viewing life from a full perspective. With a full perspective we understand that the difficult moments will pass no matter how long the chapter. My 15-year-old son said the past is history and tomorrow is a mystery so why worry about it.  I believe that is the perfect perspective for viewing life. As we go through life, understand like any good story there will be challenges, protagonists, antagonists and finally resolution. The difficult moments are just that moments in time that will not last forever. When you have times of peace and joy savior them. Be present in that moment and try not to worry about the past or the future.

Author,

Alicia Lurry MA LPC

Contributor: Andrew Lurry

Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” — Louis E. Boone

“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the Titanic.” — Unknown

I speak with many people in therapy that would on the surface appear to be very successful. They have respectful jobs. They earn a great living taking care of their families. They appear to be living the life they planned. Often, I have found there is a discontent because these individuals have dreams that have been deferred in order to pursue the safer and more predictable route. I am a firm believer that we continue to evolve in interests and goals as humans. We thrive with the opportunity to explore and create new memories. We all have an innate ability to have vision and to dream.

Fear of the unknown and fear of failure are dream thieves. The common theme for the frustration felt with people who are not living their dream is fear. It’s important to note that there are real responsibilities in life that make living ones dream difficult. Difficulty does not mean impossibility. I encourage the reader that if you are feeling frustrated with life ask yourself the following: Have I lost my dream? Have I lost my wonder and adventure? If your answer is yes, take time to rediscover that dream. Become curious about the unknown. Be willing to explore.

Regret of what could have been is a much worse circumstance than fear of the unknown.

Author,

Alicia Lurry MA LPC

I speak to many people in therapy who have become disheartened because of life’s difficulties. Anyone who has lived long enough knows that the storms of life can often knock the wind out of you. Life will have challenges but the sign of a healthy perspective is the ability to be resilient in the challenge. What may you say being a bird has to do with any of this? I am glad you asked.

Birds are resilient. They teach their young to be resilient and independent. Think about the many winds birds have to fly through. If the storm becomes too rough, the bird seeks shelter. The bird displays resilience when he or she decides to fly again after the storm. You will never see a bird walking on the ground and refusing to fly again because they encountered a storm. The bird will teach this strength and resilience to its baby by pushing out the nest to fly. You will never see a mother bird flying with their off spring on their back. As a parent it’s important to identify If you are giving your child the necessary skills to fly.

Let’s take a lesson from our strong resilient bird friends.

Author,

Alicia M. Lurry LPC

I speak to many people in therapy who have become disheartened because of life’s difficulties. Anyone who has lived long enough knows that the storms of life can often knock the wind out of you. Life will have challenges but the sign of a healthy perspective is the ability to be resilient in the challenge. What may you say being a bird has to do with any of this? I am glad you asked.

Birds are resilient. They teach their young to be resilient and independent. Think about the many winds birds have to fly through. If the storm becomes too rough, the bird seeks shelter. The bird displays resilience when he or she decides to fly again after the storm. You will never see a bird walking on the ground and refusing to fly again because they encountered a storm. The bird will teach this strength and resilience to its baby by pushing it out the nest to fly. You will never see a mother bird flying with their off spring on their back. As a parent it’s important to identify If you are giving your child the necessary skills to fly.

Let’s take a lesson from our strong resilient bird friends.

Author,

Alicia M. Lurry LPC

As we are continuing our lives through a global pandemic, it is easy to feel disheartened. Worry becomes a constant bully to rob us of any level of peace in the midst of difficulty. We often hold the misconception that worry is a vehicle for change.  Challenges will come. Life will happen. Worry drains us of the energy we need to deal with difficult times.  Ruminating over a problem allows the problem to take up the space necessary in our minds for solving the problem. Worry is an energy drain. Worry redirects focus from problem solving.

Of course we cannot just wish worry away. Identifying what we are worried about is the first step towards resolving the issue. I often ask my patients to write down the things they are worried about as a way of getting it out in the open.  Spending a short amount of time thinking about these things and then put it away. This exercise provides a visual representation of how to address worry.  Once you put the worry list away allow yourself to refocus and imagine possible solutions to your problems.

We have to take care of ourselves in time of stress. Be mindful to pay attention to areas of focus.

Author,

Alicia Lurry MA LPC

We are living in very difficult times. Turn on the news there is a constant stream of devastation, anger, and the worst of human behavior. Difficult times are not new to human experience. History has shown us that every challenge must be met with resolve. This resolve for something better is fueled by hope. This hope provides us with vision. The vision for a greater experience. Hope is necessary to fuel resilience. It is resilience that allows us to move forward and not give in to circumstances.

I encourage anyone who feels trapped by circumstance or devastated by emotional pain, never give up hope. This is just one chapter in many chapters of the story of your life.

Stay encouraged!

Author,

Alicia Lurry MA LPC

The longer you live the more you will have experiences of joy for the great experiences in life and some regret regarding results and consequences that are out of our control. We can regret missed opportunities and bad decision. We can regret words and actions produced out of anger. All too often our regrets take priority in our consciousness. We hold on to the things we cannot change almost as if we have a time machine that will allow us to right every wrong. Regret is a weight that holds us down from moving forward. Regret causes us to look back instead of looking forward. Regret is a self- inflicted punishment that never finds relief.

If you struggle with regret I encourage you to release yourself from that prison. You cannot change the past but you can prevent the past from tainting your present and future. The difficult moments are there for us to learn from. Learn the lesson and move forward.

Author,

Alicia Lurry LPC